The Flat Possum Gazette  

Test Kitchen

Courtesy of the Road-Kill Press

Taste Test - Hotdogs

Bill,

Knowing your propensity for Le Hot Dogue, I hereby pass on the results of taste tests done by "Cooks Illustrated" magazine and published in their July-August 1999 issue:

RECOMMENDED:  (In order of preference)

"Deli-Style All-Beef Hot Dogs" (Stop & Shop Supermarket Deli-Counter Brand)

"Ball Park Bun Size Beef Franks"

"Nathan's Famous Beef Franks"

"Hebrew National Kosher Beef Franks"

NOT RECOMMENDED:

"Oscar Mayer Beef Franks"

"Kahn's Beef Franks"

"Healthy Choice Low Fat Beef Franks"

"Armour Premium Beef Hot Dogs"

"John Morrell Beef Franks"

"Pure Farms Uncured Beef Weiner"


All of the "meatless" hot dogs flunked the taste tests (both adult and children). One tester/taster summed up their findings:  "Holy Yuck!"  So much for veggie hot dogs.

Having studied all the facts, especially the fact that the top two dogs contain no additions of non-meat binders such as non-fat dry milk and cereal starches, which tend to make the dogs less firm, we raced out to the supermarket to buy some. In this case "we" means my Flat Possum Test Kitchen Chief Assistant Researcher, known familiarly as "FLATCAR", raced out to the supermarket to buy some. She quickly caught the scent of the Number Two dog and removed them for research.

You know, of course, your sometime-sainted grandmother was a hot dog fiend. Yes, she was. Your grandfather was not. This resulted in some interesting suppertime conversations in Paragould when I was growing up. However, I can take 'em or leave 'em.  Today was a day of taking 'em.  We chowed down on "Ball Park Bun Size Beef Franks", the number two dog on the "Recommended" list. (It was first in the childrens' test.) And I agree with the professional taster/testers:  they are good. Of course, its best to relax and give oneself up to some fresh, toasted sesame seed buns, creole mustard, horseradish sauce and pickle relish and then, and then, you have something worth eating. Don't be guilty of laying on any ketchup or mayonnaise on a hot dog; it is indecent. I would call that an example of hard core food pornography.

Dad

 

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